What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the primary models Erin draws from in her therapy approach. EFT draws from attachment theory, neuroscience, and humanistic psychology to inform its interventions. By addressing deep-seated emotional needs, EFT aims to cultivate secure attachment bonds, promoting resilience and intimacy within the relationship.
General Overview
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) by Dr. Sue Johnson is a compassionate and evidence-based approach to improving relationships. At its heart, EFT recognizes that we all long for emotional connection and security in our relationships, much like we did as infants seeking comfort from caregivers.
In EFT, couples learn to understand and express their emotions in a safe and supportive environment. EFT delves deeper into the underlying emotions that drive our interactions with our partners. By exploring these emotions, couples can uncover unmet needs and fears that may be fueling conflicts or distancing in their relationship.
A key concept in EFT is attachment theory, which suggests that our early experiences with caregivers shape our attachment styles and influence how we relate to others in adulthood. Sue Johnson's approach helps couples recognize their attachment needs and patterns, allowing them to heal past wounds and create a more secure bond with each other.
EFT operates on the principle that emotional connection is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Through guided conversations and exercises, couples learn to communicate their feelings, needs, and desires more openly and effectively. They also practice being emotionally responsive and supportive to each other, fostering a deeper sense of intimacy and understanding.
One of the core interventions in EFT is reframing negative interaction cycles. Couples learn to recognize the patterns of blame, criticism, or withdrawal that often lead to conflict and disconnection. By understanding these cycles and the emotions driving them, couples can break free from destructive patterns and create new, more positive ways of relating to each other.
By focusing on emotions, attachment, and connection, EFT helps couples cultivate deeper intimacy, heal past hurts, and create a secure and lasting bond with each other.
What might EFT look like in our sessions?
In our sessions, when drawing from the EFT model, you can expect that I will support you to:
Identify Negative Patterns: Couples learn to recognize their harmful interaction cycles, such as arguments that keep repeating or feelings of disconnection.
Explore Emotions: Partners are guided to express and understand their underlying emotions, like fears of rejection or feelings of loneliness.
Promote Open Communication: Supporting couples to communicate openly and honestly about their feelings, needs, and desires in a safe environment.
Build Empathy and Understanding: Couples practice listening to each other's perspectives and learning to empathize with their partner's emotions and experiences.
Address Attachment Needs: Partners explore their deeper attachment needs for love, security, and connection, recognizing how these needs influence their relationship.
Reframe Interactions: Supporting couples to reframe their interactions by focusing on expressing vulnerability and seeking comfort and support from each other.
Create New Interaction Patterns: Couples practice new ways of interacting that promote emotional connection and closeness, breaking free from old, destructive patterns.
Strengthen Emotional Bonds: Through guided exercises and conversations, partners deepen their emotional bond and rebuild trust and intimacy in their relationship.
Promote Forgiveness and Healing: Couples work towards forgiveness and healing from past hurts, fostering a sense of acceptance and moving forward together.
Consolidate Changes: Finally, couples consolidate the changes made in therapy by practicing new skills and behaviors outside of sessions, reinforcing their emotional connection.
How is EFT used for families?
Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) is adapted from Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) to address the unique dynamics and needs of families. When used with family relationships, some things you can expect to see are:
Focus on multiple family members instead of a dyad: Works with multiple family members, such as parents and children or siblings, recognizing that emotions and attachment needs play out within a larger family system.
Addressing hierarchical relationships: Acknowledges the natural hierarchy in parent-child relationships and focuses on strengthening parental responsiveness while maintaining appropriate leadership in the family.
Restoring secure parent-child bonds: Helps parents or caregivers to become more attuned and emotionally responsive to their children’s attachment needs and to create a secure emotional base for their children, facilitating a secure parent-child bond.
Managing family conflict and systemic patterns: Examines broader family dynamics, including intergenerational patterns, sibling relationships, and parental roles, addressing how these influence emotional connection and conflict.
Erin is not EFT-Certified at this time, and while she draws upon her formal and informal training and knowledge in EFT, she does not practice the model to fidelity. If you’d like to find a certified EFT therapist, you can look online at the therapist directory through ICEEFT or through the therapist directory at ChicagoEFT.
