Our distressing experiences from the past can (and probably do) shape the story of our current relationships much more than we give them credit for.
Trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACES) are often under-reported and poorly understood. However, when trauma and ACES been present in our lived experience, they also significantly impact our relationship to ourselves and others. Understanding the impact and role of trauma and ACES on your life can significantly enhance your potential for healing, growth, and satisfaction with your life.
My lens in all services I provide identifies and incorporates the impact of trauma and ACES in such a way that clients and their loved ones can find understanding, compassion, and increased freedom from the lingering impacts of these painful experiences.
To provide trauma-competent and trauma-informed care means that as a provider, I have an understanding of the ways in which trauma and adversity impacts you as a whole person and in your relationships - such as your thoughts, your sense of feeling safe in the world, your nervous system, your survival response, and your psychological coping mechanisms.
Common ways trauma and adversity may impact your relationship
Feelings of unworthiness, shame, or of being unlovable
unwillingness to be vulnerable or transparent
Repeating INTERGENERATIONAL TRAUMA or perpetuating FAMILY PATTERNS
Sense of safety during physical and sexual intimacy
reactivity and defensiveness
hypervigilance and lack of trust
fear of abandonment
EMOTIONAL REACTIVITY
low tolerance for conflict and disconnection
avoiding accountability and apologizing
codependency and poor boundaries
Engaging in abusive behavior
ESTRANGEMENT FROM FAMILY MEMBERS
I am supportive and affirming of intimate relationships of all monogamous and consensually non-monogamous structures and all genders, as well as couples who experience neurodiversity; interracial and/or intercultural dynamics; and/or who are healing from complex trauma in their childhood. I am a kink- and poly-friendly provider.
